Troy of pearls; inspired within me.

“By love has appeared everything that exists.

By love, that which dose not exists appears as it is”.

-Shabestari

It is me.I am the grandson, of a globally acknowledged family-saint, H H. Mahatmaa Ramchandraji (Laalaaji) Maharaaj of Fatehgarh (UP), India, basically a theological researcher of Naqushbandia stream of Sufism. I am also owning a publishing body under the title of – ‘Mahatmaa Ramchandra publication League’. In addition, I am the 'Managing Trustee' of the trust - LNCT.

 LNCT, an abbreviation used for ‘Laalaaji Nilayam Charitable Trust’, registered under Indian Trust Act, 02 of 1882., in accordance of its principal objects LNCT has installed a tangible-impending, a liven image (Manifestation), of its presiding deity  in a sizable hall; named ‘Samaadhidhaam’, the main chapel situated in the front portion of ‘Laalaaji Nilayam’ at Mahatmaa Ramchandra Marg (01/45-A, Talaiya Lane), Fatehgarh (UP) 209601 India.

The Spiritual heritage of Laalaaji Nilayam and the marked charitable functions of LNCT have profoundly instituted, this holy place on the world map as a NaqshMuMRa-Pilgrimage. The tourist-pilgrims throng periodically, in ever increasing number on the door-step of ‘Samaadhidhaam’ temple, as a heart-throb of their god-ling. LNCT is a non-profit service and training organization. The mission of LNCT is apart from Spiritual promotion on the lines of NaqshMuMRa School of spirituality, it supports individuals to combine “inner” work of the heart with outer service in the world. LNCT invites the volunteering individuals and the organizations to participate in the projects and also to raise funds to materialize their aims and objects.

LNCT has installed a tangible image of its Presiding Deity H.H Mahatmaa Ramchandra ji (Laalaaji) Maharaaj in the 'Samaadhidhaam'. 

But who am I; you need not to lie in wait much more, because step-by-step, you keep on reading, my personage will start appearing between-whiles. I am, precisely, not whatever I look to you. What ever I am before you; is my body. To perceive deeper into the contextual meaning, let me put forward deferentially. A human body has its three forms- (i) outer gross body; made of sense organs – flash, skin, bones, blood, fats etc. (ii) subtle body; comprising with mind, intellect, psyche, egoism – called; manomaya kosh and the manifestations are; knowledge, thought and intelligence – called; vigyaanamaya kosh and (iii) casual body (soul), made of happiness, joy or bliss.

Once my Master was illustrating “tajalli”, a Sufi term. He told, the Dictionary-meaning of this word is ‘ brilliance’ or ‘splendor’, but according to Sufi-theology, it denotes to the illumination of “Zaat” (reality). As such, he says, the “Zaat” is ‘darkness’; the two extremes of end in darkness. He further illustrates; ‘darkness’ is really light, which the retina of the eyes is incapable to estimate aright. In other words, “Tajalli” is the appearance of ‘reality’ in limitation. God appear before a devotee in the form, most eagerly sought for, by him. Hazrat Moosaa (Peace be upon him) was in search of fire in the desert on his way back to Egypt from Medina, God, therefore, appeared before him in the form of “burning bush”. If somebody seeks God in an image, the image appears to fulfill his desire. Thus my Master clarified that there should be no harm in idol-worship. “Tajalli” means disclosure, an opening out of certain mysteries. 

Next day when I got a chance to be impending in to the lotus feet of my Master, I requested him to continue the previous day’s colloquy of ‘tajalli’, with to explore about formation of ‘kaaran sharir (casual frames) in the mind of ‘father’ and then later transfused in to the womb of ‘mother’, through a drop of seminal fluid. He got my point and smiled in affirmation; “yes! This is truth and our ‘Upanishads’ confirm it. But, the Sufis have their own doctrine. They hold that ‘tajalli’ (epiphany) has no repetition. God’s power is infinite and He is exalting out of the deeps of His existence ever new forms and ever new lives.” He further clarified; “all atoms from eternity move downward in the infinite space”. He referred Quran Majid (sura qahf:15) “God manifest Himself in ever changing grabs”. Master then went in to the state of silence for about twenty minutes and then re-opened the colloquy putting forth his own view- “in fact, the parents can not give birth to a child according to their own will. It would be rather an absolute impossibility unless the particular soul comes to them and nourishes the germs”. In between, my questioning about re-incarnation made him to laugh at me. Continuing himself in the same mood, he narrated an interesting story from E. G. Brown’s “Literary History Of Persia”- “there was in Nishapur, an old college, for the repairing of which donkeys were bringing bricks. One day, while the sage (Hakim, i.e. Hazrat Umar) was walking with a group of students, one of the donkeys would, on no account enter. When Umar saw this, he smiled. Went up to the donkey and extemporized the following quatrain:

O lost and now returned ‘yet more stray’

The name from men’s remembrance passed away

Thy nails have now combined to form the hoofs,

Thy tail’s a beard round the other way.

The donkey then entered; and they asked Umar the reason of this. He replied the spirit which has now attached to the body of this ass (formerly) inhabited the body of lecturer in the college, therefore it will not come in, until now when perceiving that its colleagues had recognized it, it was obliged to stop inside”.

Right since beginning, it was our regular practice that when ever we would sit around the Master, a must to sit along with a diary and a pen in hand and ever attentive to the words coming out from his tong. So, that day too, I was having a diary and pen and immediately the above story I got noted in to it, from the notes he had in his hands. Soon after it, we went in to deep meditation for about two hours. After the meditation, there continued a state of silence for another one hour. Then he again started to speak out the ‘Law of re-manifestation of the  subtle form in to the gross physical form’.

My Master, although, was sitting amongst us but seemingly his subtle form was watching some other world. His eyes were half-open. He went on speaking- “to understand the reincarnation from one form to the another one, we can take an example of a water globule in the ocean and its process of going up, becoming invisible in a vapory state in a cloud and then how it comes down again in the form of a drop mixed in to rain-water. In the natural process it may remain again in the mud, or the else it may be frozen in to a solid substance. But the substance does never destroy; it may become invisible or visible, conditions do not change the value and the properties of water-globule. In the same manner, the globule of subtle body arises in the beginning–less past in the ocean of the eternal life, and remains the reflection of the supreme sprite in the form of intelligence. This might be another course that it destines to appear on this earth, or may go to another planet. It gets empowered to travel with the speed of light. It can follow the way of light from one planet to another, with vibrations or waves of the ether. Such subtle bodies may stay on this plane in the gross form of a human body. After a gape of per-destined time it resolves into the state of death and there after it might go to (so called) heaven or to some other planet or remain in an invisible state untitled the proper conditions and the suitable environment appear. Then it gravitates according to their desires. The same forces which have brought us here this time, will bring us here again."

Life is liquid and my subtle body (sukshma or ling sharir) in the form of  a globule of its ocean came down to this plane (earth) of consciousness and born in a Adheoliya (Saxena) Kayastha family of Mahatma Ramchandra Ji (Laalaaji) Maharaaj of Fatehgarh (U.P.), to his only son and daughter-in-law, Mahatma Jagmohan Naraayan (1901-1944) and Mrs. Bhagwati Devi (1910-1995) It is a special feature in my family that right since my Grandfather, each and every one of us have been  born on Saturdays. I know, I have born this time with more developed powers, either to gain new experiences, or to help others to gain knowledge. This is true that I have not been powered with, like Christ or Buddha or the other Saviors but still I know that I have been gravitated being forced by my past deeds.

Prior to my birth the days and nights oppressed and agonized much my mother, who suffered a lot from agoraphobia; she was left all-alone in a very big house, an abode of some twenty family-members. My mother was alone in this abode because my father left her for his eternal abode,  leaving behind two daughters and one son aged nine, six, and three years respectively, exactly two months prior to my birth i.e. on 28^th August 1944 and rest of the family flock, including the servants etc. had gone to Aligarh (U.P.) to look-after my father’s youngest sister, Sushila was on death-bed in her in-laws’ house, living there with her husband  Sri Jyoti Swarup Satsangi and the other family members.

Smt.Bhagvati Devi.

The only person to look after my pregnant mother, was Vaidya Baldeo Prasad, an other son rather than a disciple, of my saint-grandfather, who was living in a lane, right straight across the Kanpur-Road, in the town. He was entrusted with the duty by my grandmother to visit the house, at least twice a day and remain available in need of. An experienced lady belonging to our ‘satsang-family’ living in a village near Amritpur, across the river Ganges had also been made alert to reach Fatehgarh on any moment at Vaidya Ji’s call. A respected old man, Vaidya Ji was since elder than my father and on account of the prevalent customary reasons, my mother had to be secretive (veil her face) before him. This had made Vaidya Ji to come for three or even more times every day, knock the door by his walking-stick, ask for the current state of affairs for his own knowledge and go back right from the door-steps. He used to keep sentinel watch round the clock those days and seemed restless to leave no stone unturned to prove himself worthy to the words of my grandmother. In respect of the transcendental-powers of this Holy-land of our house (now known as ‘Laalaaji Nilayam’), my mother used to tell about that, she experienced it always proved itself to be a lucky-charm, an amulet for her, each moment. The startled impulse of splendor, I witnessed, in my revered mother’s eyes while glorifying ‘Laalaaji Nilayam’, is worth mentioning. She used to  narrate, in her own  language, about those giant-shaped Holy-spirits she had seen, used to keep-watch over the House, and so that she (herself) might not become frightened, they seldom come down on the ground-floor or appeared their form in day light.

Vaidyaji.

Another day my eldest sister Maadhvi Lataa made to startle Vaidya Ji when he found her alone on opening the door in  response of his routine call. He asked her as to how was her mother. My sister then was nine years small girl. She replied- “Maataaji (the mother) is not feeling good, to the extent, she can not getup and work nicely. I have my self cleaned the floor of the whole house and have prepared the breakfast etc. by my own hands; will you please take it?” Without break, she continued- “She is still in the bed. Look! Just come and look!” Un-moved Vaidya ji let loose the toe of his stick- “Hold it and take me forward”. He, then reached there in the gynaeceum of my house. There he found three years child Akhilesh Kumar, my elder brother was still crying, taking his own index-finger he had given support in, by the other hand. In a single look he grasped the whole problem; as to why the little one was crying like that and my mother was not able to open eyes keeping a small scissors in her right hand. The story was- while cutting the finger-nails of my elder brother, one of which turned a ricochet, went up, and since my mother was lying down in the bed due to her starting stage of travail, instead of falling-down on the earth, it went inside her right eye-lid. Vaidya ji, although a thin skinned but a harsh-spoken person, seemed saying- “hoonh ….(an evil eye to fall); ruined the eye, it has gone…” , picked-up a single straw and with in no time he took it out. No one saw him going back. My mother wanted to get-up to see him off, after paying her due respects, but he did not give an opportunity to do any such formality.

Later in the afternoon;  middle-aged Vaidya Baldeo Prasad Dalela on the same day, made a rap-noise in his ever engrossed mood. A quick of mind, my eldest sister Maadhawi Lataa again opened the door; “oh! Taauji”. She gave an esteemed look and uttered “Namastay Taauji it is a pleasant surprise, Namastay Bauaaji”. She poured a jubilant happy-go-lucky smile on both of them. Dancingly with soul-stirring welcome, in a melodious songstress sound, she took a lead in “come, please do come. Look Maataaji! Who has come home? Guess, who has come.” She carried her luggage with her small but mighty hands and brought Bauaaji to my mother. Till then my mother was feeling slightly better. Maataaji, as a token of respectful gratitude was just on way to greet and she had not yet taken a bent to touch the feet of Bauaaji, who stopped her during the course and embraced her with a great love and allowed her head to rest on her shoulders. Later she expunged the flow of her tears by her own bosom. My sister, while narrating this view-scan, still asserts that she had never witnessed such a warm meeting throughout her lifetime. Bauaaji was the same “experienced lady” of a village near Amritpur across the river-Ganges, referred to  here before, made alert by my Grandmother before leaving her pregnant daughter-in –law. After leaving Bauaaji hear, with my sister at our door-steps, Vaidya ji had gone back for the due arrangements of the delivery; time unknown might had come at any moment.

Later in the afternoon;  middle-aged Vaidya Baldeo Prasad Dalela on the same day, made a rap-noise in his ever engrossed mood. A quick of mind, my eldest sister Maadhawi Lataa again opened the door; “oh! Taauji”. She gave an esteemed look and uttered “Namastay Taauji it is a pleasant surprise, Namastay Bauaaji”. She poured a jubilant happy-go-lucky smile on both of them. Dancing with soul-stirring welcome, in a melodious songstress sound, she took a lead in “come, please do come. Look Maataaji! Who has come home? Guess, who has come.” She carried her luggage with her small but mighty hands and brought Bauaaji to my mother. Till then my mother was feeling slightly better. Maataaji, as a token of respectful gratitude was just on way to greet and she had not yet taken a bent to touch the feet of Bauaaji, who stopped her during the course and embraced her with a great love and allowed her head to rest on her shoulders. Later she expunged the flow of her tears by her own bosom. My sister, while narrating this view-scan, still asserts that she had never witnessed such a warm meeting throughout her lifetime. Bauaaji was the same “experienced lady” of a village near Amritpur across the river-Ganges, referred to  here before, made alert by my Grandmother before leaving her pregnant daughter-in –law.

After leaving Bauaaji hear, with my sister at our door-steps, Vaidya ji had gone back for the due arrangements of the delivery; time unknown might had come at any moment.      Soon after she stepped in, the days and nights started running fast and ultimately the long awaited time arrived, according to my mother, it might perhaps be fourth or the fifth day after she had come in. it was 28^th morning of October 1944 when she delivered a mail child at 10.46 A.M.  

 

Looking forth the stable health status of my father’s youngest sister Sushila on death-bed in Aligarh for more than three weeks, this information emitted through an XXR message.

The telegram-med message gave its fruitful results and after getting the contents she opened her eyes, discharged miserly, a little smile as if the hair disheveled on her own face. Despite her severe weakness she strew her happiness on the news and after a while she came out in a whispering sound- “good; very good. I am extremely happy”. As if she had gone tired of her own life, she again turned to prolong her conversation- “if at-all he has come in this world; may Lord be gracious to get on well”. She was very fond of giving a name to the newly born babies, “he should be given such a name who would illuminate the great name of my saint Daadaa (elder brother)”. After a while, flame of her extinguishing life-force, become once again lightened high gleam flashed on her face  - “ O.K. I myself give name to my darling nephew; the younger brother of Akhilesh would be Dinaysh”.

Akhilesh & Dinaysh.

She closed her eyes. Yes finally. She had gone for her final resting place; the abode eternal.

Continued…